A purely hypothetical discussion regarding the poking of bears

All of you win.

The freedoms guaranteed by the US Constitution are not meant to be exclusive to US citizens; they're supposed to be fundamental to all humans, America was just the first country to stand up and talk about them (well, not really; the ancient Greeks had a lot of the same ideas, they kinda didn't survive Rome and the Dark Ages, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve to be tried again).  The USA spent a lot of the 20th century promoting these ideals worldwide, and for the most part their efforts were welcomed, up until the MIC got too heavily involved and the emphasis shifted from "making the world safe for democracy" to "making the world profitable for US businesses".

(Note:  I am discussing history, not politics.  But if that's still too close for comfort, I'll let it drop.)

That was what all that SOPA stuff was about a year or two ago, wasn't it?

Not really; SOPA was about Hollywood et al fearing that the Pirate Bay et al was going to cut into their profit margins.  Mostly-American companies trying to control the rest of the world's access to American products, in order to maintain their quasi-monopoly over entire sectors of the world market.  It had very little to do with legality; it was about money, plain and simple.

The right of free speech is not American, referring to it as a 1st amendment right is.

However, while the United States Supreme Court has granted the Internet "The Highest Level of Freedom of Speech" that doesn't in any way affect the rights of >G to restrict what is allowed on their forums.  As long as they are not clearly discriminating against a protected status they aren't in any violation.

Due to >G not being the US Government the first amendment doesn't apply to their policing of this forum.  They are not a public entity.

But with the SOPA thing, I seem to recall it being said that the US government would be able to basically shut down any site they didn't like due to "piracy" and stuff. The whole thing sounded rather silly. I mean, you can't control the Internet - it just doesn't work that way. A load of sites (including Wikipedia, and a load of YouTube channels) had a day-long blackout in protest. Even if the SOPA thing had gone through, I don't really know what the US thought they'd be able to do if they found a site hosted in <insert any country here except the USA> that they didn't like. I mean, even if you're American, if your site's hosted in Germany or something, what are they gonna do? ;)

Pretty much.  But USGov is all but a functioning plutocracy; they wouldn't be shutting down sites whose activities are beneficial for the lobbyist agencies that fund the Congressmens' re-election, and would shut down the ones that are bad for their business.

The whole thing sounded rather silly. I mean, you can't control the Internet - it just doesn't work that way.

That will never convince the Bastions of Control to stop trying.  It's kind of what they do.  All you have is a hammer, and all that.

I mean, even if you're American, if your site's hosted in Germany or something, what are they gonna do? :wink:

Block access to that site in all American computers, quite obviously.  It's exactly what China already does to anything they don't like.  But of course…

(For "fascism" substitute "communism" if you want to be technical; actual search results for that term suffer from the fact that a large number of people seem to think "socialized medicine" means "socialism" which in turn means "communism", when in fact even communism barely means anything different from fascism in practice, so I figured this image was close enough.)

Also not American here, and no Amendments are relevant to me (whether they're meant to or not), or any of our other non-US members - and there are a lot of us. 

And this is a private forum, and the owners of said forum can basically set whatever rules they like as long as they aren't breaking any laws, just like someone could ban smoking in their own home, even up to the point of physically removing a smoking guest who refused to put the cigarette out (or calling the police to evict said person).

Isn't communism like the opposite of fascism?

And I strenuously object to the caption of that picture. Feminism is nothing to do with this. 

Blocking content/whole sites in certain countries is entirely possible, and happens over here in good old Blighty.

If the governement (or even just your IP) want to they can be stop access to the sites legitimately (there are work arounds though).

International agreements work pretty well.

SOPA wasn't nearly as dangerous as people made out, nor would it have been effective.  It was a bad idea, and never had a good chance of passing.  But it made great publicity.

 

TWO COWS ~{Matthias Varga}

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive…

TOO MANY COWS

WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE 2 COWS!?

WHY DON'T I HAVE ANY COWS?

Ironically enough, in the Sentinels Shattered forum game, I accidentally caught myself typing Ammo Drop as Amoo Drop.

All I could picture was Bunker calling in a squadron of Holsteins in army helmets and parachutes!

I've never herd such silliness. 

It would be a misteak to let this thread get hoof as off-topic as other pun threads have.

Let's not Stampede into something we'll regret later.

I have no beef with that idea. We can't hide the fact that given the chance, we'll make dodgy puns until the cows come home. And that'd be milking it. 

Shut up the lot of you, all that talking and it's just a load of old bull. There's so much of it in here it's almost past-yer-eyes, I am not amoo-sed.

I need to ruminate on this for a while. It cud get messy.

All this pun threads, it's getting udderly redonkulous.

Don't you mean "udderly"? ;)

ITT: as usual, every conflict dissolves into puns.