Because we don't have anyone who fits that description. 
+1 for Rabit.
Also, no Smoke Bombs award for stealthy drop of information before disappearing?
I mean, other than Christopher.
Given the interest in making the nominations private, I've updated the rules to reflect that. Nominations will be done via PM to one of the Mods, and the Mods will update the nomination list.
Sound good?
Thanks for the feedback, folks! It is greatly appreciated - keep it coming. 
If there was an award for coolest people in the world, I'd give it to all of you guys/gals. 
And EvanDan with the late steal for "Inspiring Presence" 
Nope; this falls within the time period for the 2014 awards :P
Sounds like kind of a fun idea. I don't know if I can think of anone specific to nominate for anything, though - I mean, there have been so many threads and conversations and discussions and stuff, I can't really remember who said what or whether one person stands out as being better at talking about certain things/in a certain way than others. I'll have a think about it, though, and see if I can think of any examples of stuff which will lead me to nominate someone for something :D.
We need a "Rookie of the Year" award for most active new member (or something along those lines to make the newer folks feel welcome and all that)... maybe call it "Next Evolution"
Ha. And if there are joke awards made there should be a "Return with the Dawn" award for best thread Necromancer.
I would like to see some sort of nomination statement posted with the nominations. It will be hard for me to vote just based on the names, without jogging my memory on who did what.
Maybe since nominations are private cast, you can add a little 1 sentence blurb about why you choose them, and the mods can condence those into a comprehensive blurb for voting purposes? Just thinking out loud.
If I get round to nominating anyone, I was planning on doing just that anyway. Everyone's posts tend to blur together in my head, though, and I can't really remember specific examples of individuals saying particular things - I just have a kind of vague memory of some of the stuff that came up on the forum in the past :D.
That would work, if the mods are up for it.
Interesting idea - sure, it's a bit of a popularity contest, but it's nice to show people they're appreciated in some way. I'll have to have a serious think about my nominations, because there are a few where I could easily nominate several people.
We do a similar thing in my choir, but much less formal - people nominate other people for silly things like Best Beard or Most Enthusiastic Singer or Most Likely to Sing a Really Wrong Note Very Loudly In a Concert, and it's usually very funny. I have never won one of these awards, no matter how hard I worked on my beard growing. Oh well. Next year I'm going for Person Most Likely To Hold The Social Secretary To Ransom In Order To Get An Award.
I do like the idea of the funny awards people have suggested too. Except the Cultist award. Dammit, Cursed Acolyte!
Ah, superlatives. In my high school robotics team I won "Most likely to be reading right now, and not even realize that he won this superlative." I did, in fact, have a book with me, but I wasn't reading it at the time.
That'd be me on any football forum. I live in hope of getting one person to actually read a book and understand what is actually happening instead of blindly defending their club… Still, I had someone write in phenomenally poor prose that I was uneducated and should kill myself which tickled my sense of irony…
Quick reminder, folks: Nominations don't start until Monday. We aren't actually ready to start processing them. (Honestly, we don't have time this weekend.) Also wanted to give you time to suggest modifications to the process, as you've done. I'm hoping we can get an answer to the suggestion of condensing the additional details for you. My only fear on that is our misrepresenting someone's intentions, but we should be able to manage around that.
And FYI: The original list of awards was almost twice as long. We decided, for a variety of reasons (e.g., minimize complexity for the first time) to reduce the number to what you see here. 
We'll definitely evolve the awards for next year! 
[Mod arenson9] As a reminder, nominations aren't open yet and shouldn't be posted here.
Wait...we have to pick a handful of cool people on this cool forum to tell other cool people how cool these cool people are?
This awards discussion just got...
<dramatic pause>
Absolute Zero
This sounds like a lot of fun. There are SO MANY members on this forum with so much to contribute, though! I don't know that I'll even be able to narrow down nominations...
I won an award for "Most Likely To Become An Evil Genius" once...
How'd that work out for you?