Based on the information given, I would go with the Visionary storyline. A 12-15 page script is kind of short, and with short stories you really need to have your beginning, middle, and end mapped out at least a little bit before writing, and it seems like you have more of an idea of what the conflict and resolution is with the Visionary story. I'm sure the Tachy, Unity story would be a lot of fun, but it seems like right now you're hoping that the premise itself will give you an interesting story as you're writing it.
I agree with Nielzabub. While the first idea certainly seems good, Visionary trying to find friends seems very interesting, and would make an excellent short film. Just be sure to inject some levity!
Visionary, definitely. It sounds deeper and dramatic, and would be perfect for a short film, while the other seems too light for a school film. I'm pretty sure you'll get a higher grade with the Visionary one ;)
I would not mind it at all if you were to post your *finished* video on the forums for all and sundry to enjoy. Just saying. *hinthint*
I don't know how much your teacher would actually care about this, but a Visionary movie would also be much easier to make. As long as you're not having shoot lasers out of her head, most psychic powers are pretty easy to have effects for. Doing Tachyon and Unity justice would require money and talented prop artists.
I'll vote for the Unity/Tachyon story. While I agree doing them justice might be hard if you film it, I don't know if you are filming or simply writing a script and I think you'll get much more interesting dialogue from Tachyon and Unity than having Visionary, who has such a depressing story and lives right within the timeline of Iron Legacy, trying to make friends with someone who is suicidal. Of course, you might wish for the heavily solemnity that would come from that story.
Thanks for the feedback, guys. I think I'll probably be going with the Visionary story. Seems more reasonable rather than try to cram in character development for both Tachyon and Unity AND have a developed story.
And no, as of right now I don't have any plans to produce either of these scripts. I've got other projects in production right now; this is for the assignment alone. Sorry, I won't have a video for either of these to show you all.
But if you've been craving a SotM-related short film, stay tuned folks. I'll let you know when the REAL project begins.
If you're staying canon-complient, 13-year-old Vanessa Long lives in a world on the brink of world war between the U.S. and China, in which Legacy is starting to go nuts and enslave humanity. That's a lot of stuff that's not really her story, but shapes her in ways it'd be hard to fit neatly in, in my opinion. Also, interpersonal narratyives without dialogue are hard.
Tachyon and Unity, on the other hand, have awesome dialogue which practically writes itself. The comedy angle makes it more approachable to people who aren't really into superheroes, and the two are clearly meant to have a mentorship relationship which we've never really seen on the cards - it's a natural fit.
I'm honestly still on the fence, because I'd love nothing more than to write a script about Tachyon and Unity, but I feel like that'd be a very dialogue-heavy script, which is what we usually try to avoid when writing shorts. But it's still up in the air. By the end of the weekend, I'll make sure to have an outline of both stories and then make a decision based on those.
And the Visionary story would take place post-Dreamer events, so it's young Vanessa in a normal world, still with psychic powers. Visionary and the rest of the heroes will still be in the world, but they won't have any bearing on the plot. Really, the script is just about a girl who can read minds. The idea of her being Vanessa Long is incidental and only comes up because I love SotM.
Oh, an older version of the Dreamer, that does change a lot about the story.
As for dialogue heavy with Tachyon and Unity, not neccessarily. They both strike me as work-aholics, who get very into their work. Maybe tell the story through e-mails or something in-between their projects were they are being less chatty then on their time off... of course, this is a script not a short story which makes that harder... I'm in a short story class so that's how my brain is calibrated at the moment
I think both stories are equally valid. Though I would really like to see a Tachyon/Unity buddy comedy, it doesn't sound like there's much more to the premise than Tachyon and Unity are wacky. Even comedies need to have a story with a beginning, middle, and end. It just sounds to me more like the Visionary story has been thought out and planned better, which is why it gets my vote.
"Bee Bot, come here a sec and do your 'loopdeeloop! ...Aw man, don't give me that attitude! I repaired you back to normal, didn't I?"
In all seriousness though, I think the Visionary story is best, especially since it's for a class and you don't have forever to think of a scenario. I would be excited to read it if you were to post it!
I finished the script, but as I drafted it out, it became much less about Sentinels. In fact, it really doesn't touch on the SotM universe at all. Sorry guys. But I will be producing the script into a short film later this year (shot on a Canon 5D mk 3! I'm excited!)
It is about a mind-reading girl named Vanessa who hears a man's thoughts one day who sounds suicidal. She doesn't know what to do, but ends up deciding to stalk him and convince him she is his guardian angel and talk him out of it.
Thus its title: Guardian Angel. I can post the finished product on the Off Topic threads once production is finished.
Excited to see it! Though when you say Guardian Angel, I immediately think of Fanatic. She'd probably, I dunno, scare the guy into not killing himself, if that was at all possible. FUN.