While I am waiting for my next question, I decided to start this little story. I will start with the first line, and just continue it by adding one more line.
To make sure there is a beginning, middle, and end, let's say this story ends at the 100th post.
On the planet Nu, there lived a very strange alien named Nu.
Someone has played Chrono Trigger, I see… 
Nu was notable only for being a very boring planet, where nothing exciting happened at all.
(Oh, I didn't know this was to be a collaborative thing, I thought it was just the OP doing it in bits.)
One day, a traveling salesman named Zeerflonx parked his spaceship in orbit around Nu, and beamed down to show off his wares.
Nu, who was getting tired of his life on Nu, decided he would sneak aboard Zeerflonx's ship while no one was looking.
The good news was Zeerflonx seemed to have come alone
The bad news was that Zeerflonx was paranoid about having his wares plundered, and had booby-trapped his ship from stem to stern.
The booby-traps were rendered useless upon contact of Nu's rock hard chest.
and Nu came through to the first storage room, which was full of chest hard rocks.
(One of which came from the Hard Rock Cafe in Spacechester.)
After crushing the chest hard rocks with his literal knees of stell, Nu found a collection of valuable vintage Nubian porn, however, he had no means of carrying such a heavy load.
In attempting to rig a magnetic contraption to lift the chest, he unwittingly erased the ancient erotic recordings; upon realizing his mistake, he reasoned that the Universal Church of No Fun (which for obvious reasons maintained a highly profitable franchise on Nu) would pay him handsomely for his destruction of "unsanitary ideological matter".
There was only one problem... no one knew how to contact the Church... no one ever had to before. The Church would usually contact you when you were having too much fun. It was never the other way around.
He would have to do something incredibly fun and sinful to get their attention.
Since the Nuvian idea of incredible, sinful fun consisted of playing a game where you catch a ball on a string in a cup tied to the string, Nu made a point of being seen doing exactly that in multiple Church-controlled districts of the planet's capital city of E-Pappa-Loopa-Shooby-Doobah-Doo-Dah-Too.
He began to suspect that the Church had become aware of him at the point at which the snipers opened fire.
"I loved that cup," thought Nu as he ran for cover behind that perfectly safe giant green leg.
The Jolly Green Giant informed Nu (and about half of Nu, since it is very small and has an atmosphere highly conducive to sound travel) that this story had become entirely too corny, and then stepped back through the fourth wall and slammed it behind him.
With no gian leg to protect him now, Nu held out a deck of cards and hoped that believing in the heart of the cards would help him.
Unfortunately the heart of the cards had chosen that particular afternoon to undergo a triple-bypass operation, and so Nu was quickly hauled off to the Juvenile Incorrectional Facility on Peaty Grime (despite not actually being a juvenile; the reason for this was explained, but on the advice of his lawyer he was not paying attention at the time...he would later reflect that he had not had an especially good lawyer).