I lived in Durham from '03-'07. You and varia both need to meet Rick & Marnie Steeves; if either of you are SCA folks he uses the moniker of Corwin Sinister. (Can't recall hers.) They host an open board game night at their place the 3rd Friday of every month, and have been for at least 15 years. I'll send more specifics (and a link to the official web page announcement) via PM if interested.
Right as I moved, there was a small comic/game store that was opening near the Durham/Chapel Hill border that was called Sci Fi Genre Comics & Games, or something to that general effect. No idea if they're still open.
And when last I knew, Jeff Greiner of D&D podcast The Tome Show lived in Apex/Cary and taught middle school nearby.