Wow, Apostate is on another planet; I don’t know what to believe! Maybe the Thorathians really are right, and we do deserve to cower before the might of Voss’s conquering fleet! I mean, if this handsome devil says it, it MUST be true, right? Man, I like Apostate more the longer I think about him…no, not like that you perv, I just think he’s got WAY more depth than a “fallen angel” villain would be expected to have, being the virtually meta conceptual entity of untruth that he is. He could be my nemesis just as easily as he is Fanny’s (well, for reasons we won’t go into, his Rule 63 version would work better against me, but I digress).
Anyway, this is me blogging this weekly AS it gets played for the first time by me; I’ve never been in a position to do so before, and it’s worth trying once. Here goes nothing…
Round 1
Oh hey, it’s a Hitchhiker’s reference in the flavor text! Awesome. And these are some of my favorite versions of some heroes (except Fixer, who I’m thoroughly tired of after last week, but RNGsus is a cruel and spiteful god sometimes). Anyway, this game opens with Orb of Delerium, but none of the other cards that make this obnoxious; Fixer takes 2+2, then volunteers to be hit again in lieu of Tachyon.
Inconveniently, Writhe starts with the Shadow Cloak in hand; there isn’t much choice about him playing that, then he puts Mark 2 Shadow Cloak on Tachyon, drawing Erratic Form, Unnerving Target, and Lies of the Shadows (which he already held).
O-U plays Electro-Deployment Unit, activates Volatile Wiring, and plays Gaussian Coil Blaster, drawing Reset.
Fixer throws down Bloody Knuckles for 5 damage to the Orb, not currently opting to blow up any of O-U’s things. Draws a Tool Box.
We need that Orb broken asap, but Tachyon isn’t holding the cards which might make that feasible, so for now she just does a Nimble Strike, drawing Lightspeed Barrage, and Blitzes for 1 more to leave the Orb at 5. Draws Blinding Speed.
Orbital Bombardment enters play (nicely fitting the flavor text, although MigrantP has denied that he writes these blurbs to suit the game’s events, so it’s probably coincidence).
Round 2
Alas, exactly what I wanted to not happen happens; Runes of Malediction enters play, making the Orb an enormous pain instead of a priceless Ming vase. Writhe’s protection spares Tacky from half of Apostate’s grip, and Condemnation stabs O-U for 3. With all his damage coming in 2-point instances, Writhe is now basically useless; the best he can do is play Lies, then grant protection to Omnitron-U, drawing Grasping Shadow-Cloth and Somber Tinker (maybe in the other order, I didn’t catch it), then Sciamachy.
Omnitru (I just came up with that) draws Rocket Punch, then zaps Apostate (65), the only currently zappable thing. Holding Reset for now, he plays Slip Through Time, activates his Wiring, plays Rocket Punch, draws Ablative Coating, then plays that and throws his fist at Apostate a couple times (it still kinda bugs me that there’s no Melee damage in there), leaving him at 62.
Fixer plays Jack Handle, making his Bitter Strike deal 3 to Apostate (59) and 1 twice to the Orb (3) as it blocks for the still-unharmed Runes. He prematurely destroys Slip Through Time, allowing O-U to blast Apostate (57), and draws Alternating Tiger Claw.
Tacky plays Quick Insight to draw Lightning Reflexes, Supersonic Response, and Lightning Reflexes, discarding two Blinding Speeds. She deals 1 to the villain (56) and draws Sucker Punch.
Orbital Bombardment hits; Orb of Delerium falls to (1), then blocks for Condemnation and dies, allowing the Runes to take 2 (4) as Apostate takes the full hit (56), and then another hit as Writhe uses Lies of the Shadows to protect Fixer (unfortunately I forgot to have Writhe take a 3-point hit first, and I can’t Undo without spoiling my Mint, so he takes the full 4, along with Tacky). Thorathian Military then enters play, shooting Apostate (46), Writhe (16), O-U (19), Fixer (20), and Tacky (17) while failing to damage the Runes or the sword.
Gauntlet of Perdition is all Apostate plays, and I breathe a sigh of relief; this game won’t be as hard as it could have been. Fixer takes 5 total damage (15), but Condemnation slides off O-U’s shadowy exterior.
Round 3
Writhe plays Schiamachy, causing Apostate to worry (45), then smack himself for worrying too much (44), forgetting he has the Gauntlet on (43). He plays Erratic Form, then activates the Cloak, drawing Penultimate Penumbra and Umbral Siphon before protecting Fixer. Draws Swallowed by Shadow, discards a Siphon, and draws Lurking Shadows.
O-U draws Elemental Exochassis, shocks Apostate (42), plays Slip Through Time, activates Volatile Wiring, switches to his new Plating, and draws Disruptive Flechettes. At end of turn, he Resets, getting and playing another EDU, and then Rocket Punching Bezaliel down to (39).
Fixer wants to play Driving Mantis this turn, but failed to coordinate this with Writhe; it’s still worth doing, but only just, and I seriously considered playing Harmony this turn and saving the Mantis for next round. Jack Handle lets him deal 0 to Condemnation, 1 to the Runes (3), 1 to the Gauntlet (4), 2 to the Military (2), and 3 to the villain (36). Again Slip Through Time is the perfect Bitter breakable, and Apostate burns (34). Fixer draws Meditation.
Tacky has Sucker Punch in hand, but has no way of damaging the Runes this turn, so she glumly double-skips and draws Accelerated Assault and Sonic Vortex.
Orbital Bombardment reenters play; the Thorathians shoot Apostate (32), then try to shoot Fixer, and the game gives me no choice to apply Driving Mantis first; the M2SC protects him (hm, I never noticed that before; from now on I will refer to this power as “m@sc” or simply “mask”). Writhe takes 1 from the Military (15), O-U ignores them, and Tacky takes the normal 2.
Fallen Angel is played; Fixer ignores the 3 damage, Writhe cancels it by discarding the Shadow-Cloth, O-U takes it (16), and so does Tacky (12). Alas, Runes of Malediction heals to full, and the Gauntlet regains its 1 lost point. Writhe opts not to protect O-U from the consequences of my math error, and he gets hit for another 2, exploding his three components, so Apostate takes 6 (26), after which Writhe lets himself take 2 from Condemnation, leaving him at (13).
Round 4
Writhe plays Somber Tinker, both drawing and reclaiming Grasping Shadow-Cloths, and then plays Umbral Siphon. Unsatisfied with how the M@SC has been working out for him, he just deals 4 to Apostate (22) and prohibits him from healing. Draws Nowhere To Hide, discards the other Siphon, and draws Unquiet Night.
O-U skips his play phase, since Volatile Wiring will force him to play a card (actually no it won’t, I forgot the graveyard recursion power, but again, no Undo); he uses Disruptive Flechettes to hit Apostate for 2 (20) and the Military for (1), then draws another Exochassis.
Now attaining Harmony, Fixer deals 4 across the board, leaving Apostate at (16), the sword at (10), the Runes at (4) and the Gauntlet at (3), killing the Military. He breaks Rocket Puch and burns Bezaliel again (14). Draws Meditation.
Tacky is done with this mystical mumbo-jumbo; Lightning Reflexes x2 gives her three more card plays, starting with Sonic Vortex to put Apostate at 11, poking two Relics as well just because, and then Barrages him for 4 twice, leaving him at 3 before Blitzing. When reduced to 0, he destroys the Gauntlet; I expected that Umbral Siphon would prevent him from gaining back 20 HP, but apparently “setting” HP is not the same as regaining HP, so he successfully rezzes. Shoulda sucker punched him. Oh well, in for a pound and all that; she empties her remaining two Blitzes to leave him at 18.
Orbital Bombardment hits Apostate (14), near-kills the Runes (1), deals 1 to Condemnation (9), and goes on to the heroes. Writhe uses the Cloak to soak it all by discarding a spare Lies of the Shadows, then applies the one of these he has to protect Tacky, drawing Penultimate Penumbra from Erratic Form. Apostate falls to 10, Fixer takes 4 (11), and O-U takes 2 through his Plating (9). Gene-Bound Ravagers are then played, hitting everybody alive (including the robot and the zombie) for 2; Apostate is at 8, Writhe at 11, O-U at 7, and Tacky at 10, but Fixer gets to Aikido-throw the little fire dude at Apostate’s head instead of his own, leaving the villain at 6.
Fiendish Pugilist enters play, then Remorseless Provocation hits Writhe (8), and Fallen Angel is played. The heroes fall to 5, 4, 8, and 7; the Relics heal, and Apostate mauls O-U down to (2), but can’t gain HP thanks to Writhe. He then punches Fixer (5) and his crony hits Tacky (4).
Round 5
Writhe deals an irreducible 3 to Apostate, then M@SCs himself. Unable to damage Apostate, he deals 2 to the Pugilist (4) with his Umbral Siphon, and draws three cards that I’m tired of naming.
Legit skipping his play phase this time, though he of course should have switched to Ablative Coating to protect himself from the current Enviro threat, O-U activates his Wiring, and then plays the Coating rather than getting back a card he’ll never live to play. Draws Reactive Plating Subroutine.
Switching to Tiger Claw, Fixer Bitter Strikes; Condemnation goes to 7, but it’s still the Runes which break when Apostate flips back, still at 3. Pugilist and Ravagers die and Runes is left at 2; Erratic Form is destroyed, and Fixer draws more Knucks.
Tacky no longer cards about anything; Sucker Punch takes out the Runes, bringing back the Pugilist, and the Challenge Mode which I had failed to previously notice plays Profane Summons for Periapt of Woe, Corrupted Effigy, and a Gauntlet. Only able to Blitz twice, she hits the Effigy. Draws Hypersonic Assault.
Freedom Fighters enter play; they hit Apostate for 1 (2), then his demon buddy (4), then the Gauntlet (3), then the Effigy (2), and then I remember that Fixer no longer has Driving Mantis, so I can’t finish the Effigy off. O-U dies, Fixer is at (3) abd Tacky at (2), with Writhe protected by his earlier selfishness.
Profane Summons brings Tome of the Unknowable as the last relic; Writhe shrugs off Apostate’s melee hit, but the Infernal leaves him at 2, and Grannum kills Fixer while the Runes return to play.
Round X
My Mint is assured solely because I have Sink Into Shadow to cheat on Apostate’s bargain and put a stop to his antics…except…no? Wait, when did Sucker Punch effects stop being an exploit to get around Apostate’s flip mechanic? The last time I looked at the Fireside chats, that still worked. Instead, I’m dead; M@SC would delay the process only slightly, and that would be if I dared use it with Tome of the Unknowable out. Damaging the Freedom Fighters out of sheer pique, Writhe skips his draw and is done in more ways than one.
O-U allows Writhe to play Sciamachy, so Grannum damages himself, Cloak Projector is played, and the Shadow Cloak reappears. Fixer then allows Umbral Siphon to fire again, reducing Apostate to 18 despite Grannum’s protection. Unable to play both HSA and something to kill Grannum so HSA will hit Apostate, Tacky is dead regardless, so she HSAs the Freedom Fighters on the off chance the Environment won’t play a new Target to kill both heroes…which it does. Okay, no Mint this time, but it was purely because the rules have apparently changed without my noticing…how very Bezaliel.
