It’s not my birthday, so what gives?
No, but it appears that it is your one-year anniversary of joining this forum!
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The cake is a… meme?
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Doesn’t seem like that long. Longer some days, shorter others, but never that exact length.
I mean, if we’re going to be exacting about it, the length of a single solar revolution varies from “year” to “year” anyway (we lose about .0055 seconds each time IIRC) and a “day” is a pretty arbitrary unit of measurement - and that’s not even considering the whole “leap year” kludge we’ve got going on.
I’m sure Tachyon notices this stuff, a fraction of a second is a usable period of time for her. 
Alternately, the cake has nothing to do with the passage of time, and GLaDOS is trying to recruit you for a study. Might want to be wary of portals for a while.
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No, no – jump right in. Portals are awesome! 
I mean, ahem, if you’re into that kind of thing… 
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